Today we officially change the name of The Miguel Show to Miguel and Holly on Hot 101.5. I’m SO thankful to be working with my best friend Miguel, who is a man that appreciates, understands, and agrees with my desire to have equal billing on the show.
I still struggle with celebrating it because I don’t want to seem too gloat-y, or like I’m somehow trampling on Miguel and HIS childhood dreams of creating “The Miguel Show.” It’s difficult.
I managed to take small steps in the direction of bringing up the change I wanted to the right people, and slowly expressing my desire for equal billing. I struggled with the confidence of, do I really deserve to have this? And believe me, that question was actually asked. Maybe not in those terms, but one of the people we had to have a conversation with told us, “We need to see if this is a change that makes sense, and if it does, let’s go for it!” Which was super positive and I was glad to hear that, but if this is something that I, 50% of the show, was passionate about, why WOULDN’T it make sense? This is OUR show. For whom does it need to make sense so that we can make the change?
So almost daily I have to internally wrestle with myself, and make sure the voice that tells me “You’re enough!” is louder than the voice that says, “Be quiet and don’t make waves.” And I don’t even think Miguel knows how much I struggle with it, even in celebrating and talking about it. When we agreed to talk about it today I got instantly nervous, like nothing I could say would be able to justify the change. Because somewhere deep down I still feel like I don’t really deserve it, and someone is going to find out I’m not good enough.
And I say all this because I don’t think it’s just me. I think a LOT of women struggle with feeling ENOUGH on a daily basis. So I just want to tell you, keep pushing. I doubt myself all the time. But more often than not, the “good enough” part wins. And as long as I can win most of the daily battles, I’ll have to courage to continue to ask for what I want. And you can too. Find the right people (like Miguel is for me) to help you remind yourself YOU’RE ENOUGH!